Blossom

Arlene Ayirah

Hey there beautiful sons of the Most High. Trusting that you have been kept of the Lord and enjoying the goodness of His Fatherhood. I am doing quite well riding on His grace and love.

Today I wanted to do a piece that will sort of be a build up from the last two pieces I did. If you haven’t been able to go through them please do, and I hope you receive fully the heart of our Father in them.

I am not too sure how to kick this one off so let’s go with the flow. Sometimes failure to live authentically and absence of healing in our heart becomes a huge hindrance to our effectiveness as we handle different things in life. I remember when I was in my previous stages of life, being loved felt like a strange thing. I hated being loved or wanted because I thought there was a catch to it. (And even now sometimes some insecurity creeps in here and there.) It was better being on the defensive and being able to “fight back” but honey, you get tired, eventually.

Love is beautiful. Where do I start? Because I need you to really get it and have an assurance in your heart that we are loved.

First of all, I would have you know that the effect self-love has on you changes everything about how you live. When I rededicated my life to God, I would say I was very sure I was done trying everything else and all I wanted was God. But honestly my inner self was still unhappy and crashed. Not because I was going through something that was too big for God, but I couldn’t get past myself. I couldn’t get over myself and just receive this love from God that I needed to fill the emptiness I had. And I know so many people even in church struggle with this, maybe even worse. Am here today to tell you that all that you need to feel whole is found in Christ. When He died on the cross He finished it all, for you to fully live and enjoy the beauty of being a son.

I know to others it may sound sad but really it’s not… Even if everyone fails to accept you, there is one person who is calling out your name with love. His heart is wide open waiting on you to just receive from His out-pour, His abundance, His grace, His love – Himself. You know once you find full confidence and expression with God, it becomes easier to relate correctly with people. And don’t get it twisted, people is not the reality God intended for you to live. God first then His people. Relating with them correctly is a function of perceiving them after what God speaks about them.

We are all different and dynamic beings, but when we are in God we function as He would have us because we see life and others as He does. Maybe you are thinking, “but I am this way because I went through this thing that was really wrecking and painful”. My opinion is this – open yourself to healing. Time won’t help, you need to be healed. Then begin to learn how to love yourself, appreciate yourself, be confident in what God has made you and what He continues to unveil in you.

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You are probably thinking that you need to be loved and you need to be in good consistent relationship with at least a tangible amount of people around you. It is okay to want such, but whatever you think or feel you need cannot come from other people. It needs to be harnessed and built within you as you relate with the love of God. How do you expect someone else to love you and make you happy at a level that you have never been able to do for yourself? The love you need from others is not supposed to be the thing you live for. It is meant to be a flowing expression of what you have within you (the life of God) and now it can be shared with another person who sees what you have seen in yourself which is treasure. Stop looking for instant gratification in your relations to other people. Start finding purpose and God in every person who walks into your life. This way your friendships can stand the test of time. Even when you are angry, you still know that walking out of that friendship is not an option. And always remember what love truly is and do not ever associate love with pain because it has nothing to do with it. Love is 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.

Confidence and love for yourself allows you the freedom to open up to beautiful possibilities in life. I can’t get tired of saying this, you are a son of God. You are a masterpiece. He left His throne to come down here, die in your place and win you a victory so that all the days of your life on earth are nothing but a prepared work by HIM. What manner of love is this? That even in Psalm 6:4- 9 it says “What is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them? You have made them a little lower than the angels and crowned them with glory and honor. You have made them rulers over the works of your hands, you put everything under their feet all flocks and herds, and the animals of the wild, the birds in the sky, and the fish in the sea, all that swim the paths of the seas. Lord our Lord how majestic is your name in all the earth.” See how highly the Lord has placed you and how He chose to give you the place in His heart that is unchanging. And as long as you are drawing love from Him then it is enough.

Glowing light star with lens flare

Your responsibility therefore is to shine, be a light, blossom. Do not be intimidated when your brother or sister is shining. Do not dim your light just because someone else’s shine is not like yours. Just because someone thinks you are too bright is no reason to dim your light. As Lisa Nichols says, Just hand them a pair of shades. If all of us were the sun, where would we get the stars and the moon? If all of us were perfumed candles where would we use the lanterns? Be bold because your light, however it looks like, is necessary, important and most of all a treasure…so shine it. We all have a uniqueness that is needed in the body of Christ. You are special, you are indispensable, you are the apple of His eye, you are loved immensely. And once you start feeding from His love He finds a way of molding, transforming and being your satisfaction. Lately I just find my security in knowing, no matter what, He loves me, and this cannot be taken away from me. Be bold and blossom because the heaven is backing you up.

I really appreciate you for your support and your feedback this year. This journey would not have been the same without you in it. I am so glad I had an opportunity to grow as I did this. Next year by the grace of God we shall have deeper conversation and more enlightening truths. Because we can never exhaust the goodness of our Lord. Looking forward to more with you. Have a wonderful festive season. 2018 would not have been the same without you. Keep soaring in Him who has made all things possible for you. And remember to shine child of God.

I love you. ❤️🖤🧡💛💜💙💚
Shalom.

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Like A Crisp

Arlene Ayirahdeep-fried-crisps

Hey there beloved of God. I trust you have been well in the Lord. Today I am turning a year older and men, I am feeling so grateful. This year has had a very interesting turn of events. I made huge decisions, I have transitioned to other phrases of life,I learnt to love and be loved, well the list is long, both good and bad things happened but through it all I have been translated into a better being and am hopeful about what the future holds. Today i just have one thought in my heart, one message… Healing.

grandma

You see this lovely woman up here, she is my Granny. I loved her so much. I really cannot begin to explain how much she meant to me. Our Christmas since around 2012 had always involved going to her home because she would invite us to just spend time together. And when she laughed, the sound of how happy she was would melt your heart. Then she had these stories of how she grew up (my favorite is about Fred the Mzungu, and the child who had never seen a person of color before, see me later if you want to hear it) She was a super mother, super granny and super role model. Naomi Zani Nandwa – My Expensive One you did great. This phenomenal woman went to be with the Lord earlier in the year and it was rough. But hey, we are here. Glad that God gave her to us for a solid 85 years and 5 months.
One thing I have learnt about myself in my life journey is that I love fiercely. The intensity with which my heart accepts people sometimes is even overwhelming for me. I am still working to just correctly express my heart to those I love and subsequently correctly be involved with them (which is a story for another day, maybe.) Because of how I choose to love others, handling pain is not my favorite things to do. I actually think I don’t know how to correctly process pain as soon as it happens. My attitude towards loss of loved ones can be terrible. I am not perfect at handling loss but I have lost a tremendous amount in a short time and am telling you, you can be healed.

cry

First things first, healing is not based on how long you take to stop crying over an issue that wrecked your heart. Time doesn’t heal. It only makes you able to live with it. I said this before and I will repeat, you were not created to cope with life, life is not supposed to happen to you. You happen to life. You are a Kingdom child, you are meant to reign, to triumph, to dominate, to shine your light and to be the salt of the earth. You are royalty. So holding on to pain is not something you should be doing with your heart.
God has taken my heart so many times and dealt with all my insecurities, my worry, my pain, and my mistakes. And how He works is that He wants to leave you with a perfectly healthy heart, free from whatever you needed healing from. He just doesn’t want to ease the pain so that you can sleep at night. He wants to make sure that if that experience crops up again, you can look at it in the eye and say, “You have no power over me anymore because my Father took the pain and all I have in my precious heart is Him.” So many times I thought I was over something and one thing happens and somehow the same thing I thought I was done with hurts me. It’s like all the pain just comes right back. I don’t know if you have had this before. I found out that God will keep bringing things up not to hurt you but to make you aware that you are still in the process of being healed, therefore you need to stay there at the operating table so He can remove the tumors that if are left, will slowly take away life from you.

Loss has a way of making us rethink our own existence sometimes, especially if the person meant a lot to you. But throughout the years I have discovered that it is important to process the loss of a loved one. Loss is painful, but it’s important for you to train your heart to accept the loss and then be open to receive the healing that you need. Without this you just go by learning to cope and to survive with a deep seated wound that is not impossible to heal. I am not saying that you shouldn’t be sad or mourn, for the bible says there is time for everything. But when the mourning time is over, would you allow yourself an opportunity to be healed.

waterfall

As I wind this one up, sometimes the water at the top of a waterfall never flows to the end of the trail. Sometimes it is scooped by tourists who were passing by, other times a water animal could swallow it and swim a different direction. The point is, we are all in different individual journeys but we have one source. And as long as the source is there we can never run out of content. Every season He will build us in statue, in capacity to handle whatever He purposes for us and in wisdom and understanding to overcome the hardships in life. For you to enjoy a crisp you need to crash it in your mouth and savour the flavors in it. If you swallow it without crashing you may get chocked. Learn to enjoy the crashing moments because the world will reap the flavors God placed in you. God cares about you all the time. He is intentional about being in love with you and wanting the best for you. Learn to love all that you are and all that you are not, because you are a son perfectly created for His good work. You are a King, a chosen one, a precious one, the apple of His eye. Live loved because that is who you truly are.
Thank you so much for being part of my journey this year. Some of you, your feedback is tremendously uplifting and mind blowing. The direct messages, the comments, the prayers all of it, I deeply appreciate. I bless God for you and I pray He can continue to use me in greater and better. I am believing Him for a lot more for us here. Thank you so much guys I love you. Remember to leave your thoughts and contribution at the comments section, give the piece a thumbs up and share with whomever.

And just in case you have not yet heard, we have a worship encounter tomorrow in Kasarani – Mwiki at Firm Foundation Academy as from 2:00pm. Do come so we can bless the Lord together and have a wonderful time just feeding from Him. I assure you it will be like never before. Because He loves us.

Step Out

Arlene Ayirah
authentic
Hey Son of the most high. It is my sincere prayer that you are doing well. But just in case you are not, don’t you worry. Your Father loves you enough to assure you that it is well with you. All shall be well. Rest in this assurance. I trust that God has got you covered and you are complete in Him. Everything you need is in Him so just press in a little more, reach out for it and walk in it. So my dear brother and sister, be encouraged in the Lord.

Lately I sense a healing for us in those areas of our lives that we chose to move on from and forget or even probably learn to live with. You see, you were not meant to tolerate or learn to cope with issues, you were meant to have dominion, to reign, to triumph, to walk above. And so I pray that the healing power of God reaches out to you and your heart, and begin to walk you through a healing journey that will free you from any pain or regrets. I speak complete wholeness in God for you who is reading this. Right now may God reach out to you and provide Himself for you as you need and as you seek. In Jesus name we agree. Amen.

Now today I want us to demystify the question on being the truest version of ourselves. Being real with who you are.
I know we have heard this before and am sure we have found ourselves trying to draw the line between being true to ourselves and also being able to accommodate the people in our circles. At my earlier stages of life I really struggled with my identity and drawing the line between being a people pleaser and being authentic. You guessed it right, I tried so hard to please everyone, to be the correct friend, the correct child, the correct classmate, missing out on all the things I should have been becoming. And most times we get it twisted. We think that doing something a particular type of way, or doing things because that is how they have always been done, acting a certain way, displaying a certain attitude, or even thinking a particular way just because it always seems like the right thing to do.

Let me first of all leave this one here, Authenticity is not defined by the norms of the society. It is being the truest form of yourself without holding back your weaknesses because you understand that you are not defined by your weak points. Your ability to take yourself and allow a refining to happen because you know you can be better, is an aspect of living true. It is about being an undisputed version of yourself, no masks, no hiding, no pretense, and no cover up.

Masks actually do more harm than good. It prevents you from experiencing the fullness of who you are in God. It bars your intimacy with God. It keeps you away from Him and yourself. Instead of trying to find ourselves in other people’s descriptions and expectation, why don’t you try the person who made you? Base your self- esteem on the love of God and His unchanging biblical truth other than what you feel or think about yourself and people’s changing opinions of you in different circumstances and seasons. People will pass judgment in your time of process but God stays with you as you walk through process.

Red umbrella over many black umbrellas
You are a child of God, this is fact. And this can never be taken away from you. The reason you change to be better when you become born again is not because you are trying to earn or prove that you deserve to be a son. It is more like you getting to know the object of your attention – God. Once you really, truly understand who God is to you and for you, your heart goes out to do right because you know how much He means to you.

The fact that someone else in your church, or community seems to be having it all doesn’t mean they do. Some are either very good at covering up or living out of the abundance of the joy of the Lord. You cannot compare yourself to man, they are also subject to the rulership of God. It is high time that we stop covering up our true self. Our pain, our joy, our triumph, our weaknesses, our strength, all of it is part of a process that eventually beautifies and makes you stronger and better.

I say all this not to pump you up with a sense of superiority or ego. If anything humility is fundamental for your walk in authenticity. With humility you shift from being preoccupied with yourself. It becomes easier to show grace to others when they offend you because you choose to see them with the same value you give yourself, with full comprehension that only God’s grace has held you together. And as I talk about humility it does not mean that you undermine your gifting. Thinking low of your gifting is not humility. It actually is pride. Because you make it about you and not the giver of the grace you are gifted in. So if you can sing, preach or teach, go ahead and break a leg while at it. That is why you have that ability, to excel in it. Look at every task you undertake as an opportunity to serve God through your attitude. Instead of working just for a paycheck or praise from other people, work to honor God because He is your ultimate reward.

As I finish, I need you to understand that the story of how your brokenness has caused you to depend on Christ is much more powerful than any other story you could tell to try to impress people. Trust that every difficult and painful event in your life can be used to glorify God and tell others of His great love. Tell others what God has done for you! This is the greatest form of authenticity you can have. Do not be scared to show yourself, sometimes someone out there is waiting on it so they can walk in confidence too. Shine your light child of God. Refuse to be caught up in the issues of life. Blossom and thrive even in your frustrations because only then can you say how much you depended on God and He showed up for you.
Thank you for taking time to go through this piece. I hope it has edified and spoken to your heart. Remember to leave your thoughts and contribution on the comment box. Click like and share with other Kingdom Champions like yourself. I love you.

BUILD-IN (Structure)

yyyy

Hello guys. Hope all is well with you and that the love, peace and joy of our Lord Jesus Christ is keeping you still in all your endeavors. It’s been a while I know, but I assure you it was for a good course. Thank you so much for all your feedback on the piece “In the shoes of Love”. It was overwhelming and it got me trusting the Lord even more for you as I keep sharing His heart and mind every time I write.

When I started out in my writing, all I wanted was to share small bits and pieces about myself so my readers could see that indeed God is good. But storms came along the way, at some point I was shutting down my blog because I felt that this was a wrong move and that it was not beneficial to anyone. But one day I got a message from one of my readers about how they were really encouraged by one piece I wrote. My heart was touched and I realized that even if I was helping one person by what I do then I would be very much content. I started to draw my contentment from God and not what happens as I do my writing, which I really love. I must say this woman of God saved my writing. What am trying to say is that I really do appreciate all of you who take time to read, comment and share my pieces. I love even more that God has given me a clearer trajectory of how this writing is to be used for His Glory, and it is beautiful before our eyes. Thank you so much. From my heart to yours. I love you and God loves you even more.

Now today I want to share about building especially from your within. I have had enough time to really think this through just so I can say one thing here today. Let us start from the very beginning. You are a son, a King, who is loved, fathered and graced for life on this earth. This is true about every man who is in Him (2Corinthians 5:17 therefore if any man be in Christ Jesus, he is a new creation, old things have passes away, behold, all things have become new). The good shepherd has us at heart that he deliberately sorts out any question of identity. Then after our identity has been confirmed and well-sealed in our hearts what follows is a pursuit to live this God life that we have been given access to. We develop a desire to know what God has called us for, what we ought to do in the Kingdom, our purpose. And because God is not a careless Father, He begins to unravel our callings, our ministry and our gifting. He allows us to see a glimpse of what the glorious future holds. It is glorious yes because He who is in us and us in Him is the author of it all.
What happens now is that if this new life we receive lacks proper anchoring, we may lose relevance or fail to function as we ought to. What do I mean? The new life we have is a workmanship of God. This means that everything that we are is purely by His enablement. We cannot function out of our own intelligence. We need the wisdom that comes from God, and this wisdom and understanding is not far-fetched for the bible says in James 1: 5 “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask God who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him”. Kingdom life is not supposed to be about our performance. It is about embracing the working of God in us. Indeed we will grow and become very big and influential ministers of the gospel but do we have the ability and maturity to carry through the mission of God for us with honor. This now brings me to say that only the tailor knows how to fix a torn garment, only a potter knows how to fix a broken pot and only an architect knows how to implement the design of a building.

thee lion

Capacity building first, is a process which requires us to adopt an attitude that will facilitate our teaching, correction, alignment, building and proper placement for the work of God. What we obtain during this process then improves and retains the skills, knowledge, tools, equipment and other resources that are necessary for us to be effective relevant and competent in the implementation of the heart of God in our spheres of influence.
You and I and the workmanship of God. This means we are constantly being built, renovated, furnished, decorated, replaced or improved. All these things imply that some changes have to be made. When I was growing up I did not like change, because it altered my comfort. I would have you know that change is not a bad thing. Sometimes change comes to catapult us to the next level. And so when the Lord comes to change something in what you are it is so He can continue to make you more like Himself. Your foundation in God is a very fundamental area that needs to be solid. It would not make sense that we keep building when the foundation is shaky and unstable.

When the foundation of anything is solid, whatever comes after can go as high as it wishes because there is confidence is what is holding it. I therefore encourage us to keep seeking so hard after God so that He can continuously refine us and give us what we need for life (2 Peter 1:3 which says As His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue.)
Friends, God loves you too much for you to settle for anything less than what He has to offer. So keep yourself anchored and steadfast in Him so that you are continuously built from within by your Father. Allow that whatever God has deposited in you is empowered for correct function on not just a skill you show off with when on a platform. Trust me if you stay in God He will show you off Himself because essentially He will be showing Himself off through you. So stay still and let the King refine you so you can be Kingly like Him and reign.

I do hope you received this message with gladness and I pray that the love of God that is reckless, overwhelming and all powerful be at your reach every day of your life. I am honored today to be sharing with you so would you do me a favor please. Like this piece, leave a comment and share with other Kings like you. God keep you and hey… Keep reigning Son. You are loved. Until next time, be blessed.

In The Shoes Of Love ❤

Arlene Ayirah,

Hey beloved of God. I have been away for a while, learning and growing in the knowledge and understanding of God and I do hope that the peace of God has kept you and preserved you.  

A lot has been going through my mind and heart most especially about the love of God. And guys, God loves us. I know it may sound clichè but I have developed a whole new light of beholding and understanding the Love of God. And that is what I want us to share today. I have been learning and sharing on love for a couple of weeks and I feel like I will try compress it here so we too can receive the heart of God concerning this matter.  

Growing up, I was a happy kid and I had a good place to always bounce back to. In 2005 this changed. My “source” of pride and joy went to be with the Lord and I sort of found myself going through constant rejection from time to time.  Many times I felt it from my extended family, in school and even my friends at home. Because of this and more I grew up feeling like love was very far fetched. I wasn’t able to see it when people around me loved me, and what I did was I pushed them away or chose to hurt them so they could leave me alone.  

And then I met Christ and decided give my life to Him for real for real 😁. But guess what, my attitude and perception of love did not flip and change. I still had my reservations and concerns about love. I knew God loved me but I had no idea how to receive much less how to give it. But God who knew me before hand had a time that He would help me through this very fundamental truth in life. And it took many losses, many lessons, hurtful times and betrayals before I could get it. Most were self inflicted because I had developed a bad and wrong attitude about myself, and so every time something attempted to go wrong or went completely wrong, I used my existing attitude to justify the absence of love in my life.  

A few years later God really began to teach and show me what His plan and intent for life has always been and there all I saw was His overwhelming love. I would like you to know that God created you from love and that His intention is that you receive and give it with the fullness and magnitude He has given to you. His love is a reality we have to comprehend, understand and live in as Sons of God. You can never understand who you are when you don’t know or understand who loves you. So before we can dig deeper I want you to take a deep breath and say “GOD LOVES ME” with a conviction and understanding in your heart. 

Love is a fuel that drives many giftings around us. For instance something like faith. When you get on your knees to pray for your friend, if your heart is not praying from a point of love your faith for the prayer you made does not really come alive. Your functionality is of love because it is a component we are created from. And you cannot love people from a distant. We exist in community and so love should be shared within community. You were not created for yourself so move and embrace others and love them. The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 13:3, Even if I dole out all that I have [to the poor in providing] food, and if I surrender my body to be burned or in order that I may glory, but have no love [God’s love in me], I gain nothing. (AMP) So even as you walk in your gifting and calling may the Love from God abide richly in you. 

I know you are probably thinking about that person who has hurt you and you don’t think you can love them after what they did. Listen, you can love them. How, you ask? By speaking to your father about it in prayer. Pray for them genuinely. You realize you cannot be mad at someone you pray for. Because you will begin to see them as God’s children too and love them the way God loves them. You receive the heart of God for them when you pray and it helps even in forgiving and letting go of whatever wrong they have done against you.

When someone loves you it’s only right to have a response, posture or statue that allows you to appropriate when they have given. The best way to respond to God’s love is to love Him. And you cannot love unless you:

  • Learn

When you love someone the natural thing to do is to learn stuff about them. Their favorite food, colour, best movies, best hangout spot and a lot more. It happens almost naturally. So when you want to effectively love God you need to know Him. Spend time with Him, get to know Him. Read His word and get to know Him a little better. Desire to know God for yourself and not from general revelation.  

  • Obey

God would like for us to walk in obedience of what He has laid out for us. When we obey Him it exposes the position of our hearts. Obedience to God is a mark of love. So get to know what God wants and choose to follow and obey.  

  • Verbalize

Love is not only expressed by actions but also by talk. Learn to tell God that you love Him. Engage the heart of your father and allow the flow 

  • Evolve 

Many times when we learn some truths, they change us. Our attitudes, our behavior and character, our convictions and even our entire lifestyle. Change is not necessarily a bad thing especially if you are being transformed to be like your father. Be open to the changes that will happen in your life.  Allow God to bring to your attention things that you need to work on with Him so you can evolve into a beautiful glorified son.  

    Love is attached to value and God has value for us which doesn’t change even when we fail or mess up. The value of 1000 shilling note doesn’t change even if it falls inside some muddy water. It still can be cleaned up and used as the note that it is. God wants us to go to Him and allow Him to clean us up, to mend us,  to change us, to fix us, He wants to make us and He takes the credit for it. You need to know that God called you not your mess. He loves you not your deeds of perfections.  No matter what happens I would love for you to always know that it doesn’t change your place in the heart of God, Your Father. 

    So live like you are loved because it is an ultimate truth about you.  Because you are a child of God. Because you are fathered. Because you are His righteousness. Because you are new creation.  Because you are in Him. YOU ARE LOVED. And this is the truth about you. 

    Thank you so much for taking the time to go through this piece. I appreciate your feedback, your prayers, your participation and may the love of God come alive in your spirit and cause a change for the better. Feel free to share whatever else you have learnt about the love of God in the comment section, don’t forget to like and share too. I love you and may the grace of our Lord be your portion all the days of your life. Till next time bye.  ❤❤❤

    Dear Dads

    Arlene Ayirah

    Hello beloved of God. It is my sincere hope that you are doing well. Before I can delve into today’s matter allow me to say a prayer over your life. I have come to realize that as long as we are here on earth, connecting to our father is very important.  Lord I thank you for this faithful sons and daughters who love you. I pray that your peace, joy, grace,abundance and love shall be their potion in Jesus name. I ask that you continue to guide us and allow us to manifest what you have planted in us and allow us to walk in fullness of the power within us. Holy Spirit guide us, teach us and help us to do the will of the Father. In Jesus name I pray Amen.  Thank you for believing with me and I declare that it is well with you.

    So today I want to speak to us about something that’s more of a personal experience. I won’t share much about the personal details but I hope you can connect to the lessons we shall share. My heart today, is to talk about fathers and the kind of impact they have on their children regardless of their gender. I don’t know how many fathers will read this but I sure hope I can reach out to a people who are yet to get into that phrase because preparation is key for them.  

    As we begin I want you to think about the life of Jesus and the number of times He referred to God as a Father. He even tells us in Mathew 6:9 that as we pray we can address God as Our Father.  I find this very exciting and again I want to know why God wants so much to be a Father to me despite the fact that He gave me parents here on earth. The role of our parents is to be a representation of God here on earth. It may be unfortunate if some of our parents do not know the Lord and as a result have done or not done things “perfect” parents should do. Our mandate as children should always be to honor them even if we feel otherwise. Honoring our parents is equally honoring God who gave us these parents.  

    Now when I think about our daddy relationships, this is what I have come to understand. The essence of fatherhood is a broad unfolding of different roles,abilities and graces. Fatherhood does not lie in one’s ability to make a child. We have so many men who have fathered children but are not necessarily playing the role of a father in the lives of these children. 
    I want you to understand that the fatherhood of God is not limited to only what He can be or give when you call on Him. His fatherhood is a perfect kind. Whatever you need Him to be in the office of fatherhood He is. Therefore it is so wrong for you to see God the same way you see your dad especially if your dad has not been good to you. The love of God is perfect and it never fails. This then tells us that fathers should love their children and be the best version and example to them, so that the picture of the God is in agreement with that of the dad. 

    I had a conversation with a good friend of mine who shared his heart about this matter and he made me understand fatherhood in a man’s perspective. When we look at it from a Kingdom perspective, a father is viewed as a source, a covering, a protector and even a mentor. And if you look at it closely, this is what God is to man. Therefore a father (man of the house) succeeds the role of God in His family as a unit in the society. He has to lead his family with the intention of doing what God would do if He was physically present in that family.  

    It’s important to know that this is God’s order of things as far as fatherhood is concerned and so a father is an office of authority based on assignment from God. Therefore someone is not necessarily a father to you because he biologically bore you alone, but because it’s God’s ordinance as well. A father stands in the place of God.

    When it comes to a father’s relationship with his children, having all this in mind is very fundamental. It should begin from this perspective. His role involves forgiving, teaching, training, blessing, raising, protecting, guiding, correcting, loving and being a covering. This seems like a lot to offer but believe me it’s very doable especially if you trust God with your family.

    Dads you should know that the way you treat your children affects how and what they think of themselves and other people. It  forms a social perspective for them. A father is important to a daughter because he sets precedence for other men in his daughter’s life and also what to look for in a man. 

    When dealing with the daughters, the love of a father is so important and necessary. It allows the girl to understand men and form a perception thereafter about who men are. For example if a father gets home drunk, beats up his wife, is abusive and speaks negative things to his children, the daughters in that home will always think that men are all like that and may even conclude never to get married because they don’t want that kind of life. For many it forces them to go through a healing process so that they can begin to see men in a better light. And if a father is present, loving, cares and provides well for his family, daughters therefore believe that they should be able to find a man almost like her father. Even if the father had shortcomings, the good will always be what the child remembers. 

    When we come to the sons, fathers literally make their sons and breed them into the man they become in future. If a father is too brutal, a son may either think that that’s how matters should be handled or may become extremely rebellious and disrespectful to his father. The boy child most times becomes a spitting image of his father in terms of character. You notice that sons take up small habits as a result of spending time with their dads and so it’s important for dad’s to be great examples to their boys. 

    Therefore fatherhood should be based on purpose and destiny. A dad ought to know the mind of God for his children and help empliment it alongside the mother. He should be involved in taking care of the total person, spirit, soul and body. Fathers form realities in the lives of daughters and build character in the life of sons.  

    Sometimes fathers dont know how much the things they do affect their children and so it’s important to have people around who are more advanced in parenting who can give sober advise and help bring out the best in the children. I may not know everything about fatherhood but I have shared a few things I have learnt especially from my personal account of life.  

    Dear dads please love your children and make sure they know that you love them, it forms them emotionally. Teach your children well, train them as God would because truth is, you will be accountable to God for what you do or don’t do with your children. Our dads may not be perfect but alongside honouring them, let’s pray for them, they need it. Ask God to help them set you up right for life. As I finish always remember that “the heart of a father is the masterpiece of nature.”

    Thank you so much for reading today’s piece. I hope it has been enlightening. As always it’s an honour having you read this. Thank you for your continued support prayers and love. Let me know what you thought about this article on the comment section. Also share anything related to this on the comments for others to read and get a few nuggets. Like the article and share it as widely as you can. God bless you and I love you.

    #Fatherhood #Honour

    Let Him Drive.  

    Arlene Ayirah

    Hey there, I hope you are doing great and that God is making Himself manifest in your life everyday. I also do hope that your communion with our Lord is solid because we were created for this purpose – to commune with the Father,for relationship with Him.  Even as we keep talking about relationships I would have you know that your relationship with God is the most important.  So make sure it’s at its best. 

    So today I want us to talk about a matter that I have come to realize is being reversed in this modern society as far as relationships are concerned. I would like to throw a question, do you think it’s alright for a girl to ask a guy out? What am basically asking is whose job is it between a man and woman to pursue the other in dating courtship and eventually getting to marriage?And what are some of the things that we must know in order to pursue right and be pursued right. 

    Before I can share my mind I would like to include answers I received from a few friends who are very sober in matters relationship and dating. Do pay attention to the things they will say about this matter and I will add thoughts of my own to conclude this topic.  

    Jael Janis

    In today’s world, women don’t like being approached by people who notice there outward features. They would love to be appreciated for their personality and that means you must get to know them better. It is considered lustful when a guy begins describing a lady with her physical features.
    Again ladies should also not entertain guys,  I mean “creating a conducive environment for being proposed to” then turn down the offer.  How do ladies do that?  Always calling to know how the guy is and in essence there’s nothing much to be said,  being in constant communication : good mornings, nice lunches,  good nights and chatting the whole day saying nothing.

    Pursuit in my opinion should be with understanding, that is in the first place why are you approaching the Lady? If you have no intention with her whatsoever it’s better to stay  on the friend zone.  Guys should stop buying gifts and showing special attention to ladies if they have no intention.

    Benjamin Waka

    Out of 100% of men, About 70% of them will throw hints and all. (I saw you I liked you but kept it to themselves.) They will not ask you out directly and state their intentions for you.  25% will be bold enough to approach a lady and say what they want. Out of the 25% about 20% are players. They are very good talkers, smooth, great looks, money  or something to get ladies but are not willing to commit. They are bold. That’s because there’s nowhere it’s all headed. It’s all just a game for them and because time is a revealer of motives, when a lady is difficult for a while they give up and go.

    Genuine men don’t give up till they get you. They hunt you down. They take time. They are interested in the little things about you.  What makes her mad? What’s her favourite dish? They truly give time to know you. 

    Moz Muchoki

    ACCORDING TO GENESIS 29:1-14.

    THE STORY OF JACOB AND RACHAEL –IN THEIR OWN WORDS.

    Kindly study this scriptures in depth and realize how Jacob and Rachael were in pursuit of God’s affairs when they met and eventually got married.  

    Jacob narrates;

    “I was still overwhelmed from my experience at Bethel. What an encounter!. So far it was the highlight of my journey. I now knew what th presence of God was and I was indeed thankful for the covenant that The Lord had made with me. And now my journey has brought me to the land of the people of the East. I knew my uncle Laban lived somewhere around there. I wanted to find Him, for this was my father Isaac’s instructions. So I came to a field which had a well. There were shepherds with their sheep and it was about noon. So I went over to ask them where they were from. They were from Haran. They even knew Laban my uncle. They mentioned that one of Laban’s daughter was coming to water her father’s sheep. I inquired with concern why they had not started watering the sheep yet. As I inquired, Rachael arrived! She was beautiful! But I knew that she had not been idling around waiting for me to charm her into my arms because she had some sheep with her. I had to sober up! She was a shepherdess and she cared about her father’s sheep. The best I could do was to contribute to her purpose and see her for the responsible shepherdess she was. I rolled the stone away and watered the sheep so that I may help her accomplish her mandate as per her father’s will. After that I kissed her to show my affection for also, she is a woman. I introduced myself and I let her know we were from the same family. She then ran off to her father. This didn’t bother me because my destination was to her father’s house anyway”.

    Dear men of the 21st century, I narrate this to teach you the following: 

    1. You only find the right woman when in your pursuit of your Heavenly fathers will.
    2. The right woman is not the one waiting for you! She is engaging in her purpose as per her father’s will.
    3. A bethel encounter is highly recommended before thinking of marriage.
    4. The right woman will trust and love her Heavenly Father more than she does to you.  

    Rachael narrates:

    “It was high day. It would have been pleasurable to engage in my own activities, but I had to be faithful to my father Laban. For I love him. I had to take the sheep for watering, for I know this is what he wanted me to do and it would please him. So off I went, leading my father’s sheep, the sheep He designated for me to look after, seeking and wanting nothing else but to accomplish that which my father has given to me as a responsibility. I arrived at the fields where the well was. My fellow shepherds were there waiting for all the sheep to gather so that we can water them but I also met them speaking to a strange man I had not seen him before. He looked at me and I could tell that he observed the sheep I had come with. He rolled away the stone that covered the well and watered my father’s sheep. He cared about the responsibility I had in my father’s house and his first action was not to respond to my beauty and try to charm me. Instead, He saw something more.  He saw PURPOSE, my responsibility and he gave himself to partner with me and help me do that which was my purpose. Then after that he sincerely showed me affection; I think he even wept! He introduced himself and proclaimed to me the family he belonged and we had a connection in our identity. Immediately, I ran to my father after all this man Jacob, was worth talking about to my father.

    Dear sisters of the 21st century, I narrate this to teach you the following;

    1. Don’t receive a man because He pursued you. Receive him because your heavenly father approves him.
    2. Don’t be idle desiring a husband and waiting. Take responsibilities in your father’s house and engage in purpose. Let your PURPOSE be so evident in your life than your beautiful smile.
    3. Receive the man who carries your heavenly fathers “DNA”.

    Cliff Alambo

    Genesis 2:24

    “Therefore ( For this cause) a man shall leave his Father and mother and shall Cleave to his wife and the two shall become one Flesh”

    The heart of Kingdom marriage is found in these two words: Leave and Cleave. That’s the heartbeat of Kingdom marriage. 

    In every culture, and every social setting, the woman always feels a sense of significance when she is “pursued” 

    Every woman loves that special feeling of being wanted. It appears that by law of nature, females are to be pursued. 

    The female always wants the male to pursue her and prove worthy. Women love that feeling of being pursued, it makes them special. 

    Reason with me:

    The Hebrew word translated “N” in genesis 2:24 is the word “dabaq”. This is a very interesting word and based on this context, it can accurately be translated as

    1. To be glued permanently 
    2. To pursue
    3. To follow closely 
    4. To unite tightly
    5. To adhere to
    6. To constantly chase 

    Interesting right? The man ought to pursue the woman. it’s divine order. The woman in all cultures of human history has always waited to be pursued.

    The bible is consistent with this idea, that’s why you find scripture like “he who finds a wife” meaning he actually actively searches or pursues. 

    It’s same explanation for why the greatest female need in context of marriage is affection, not respect. ( Am not saying women don’t need respect, in fact a woman interpretes respect through affection).

    Intimacy wears off when men stop pursuing their wives, this is consistent with scripture. The word cleave, can mean, continually and constantly pursue. This is extremely important to understand. 

    And notice, it’s the man that does the leaving and cleaving. ( I won’t get to details of the significance of this) but it’s special attribute to women to be pursued. Men love to conquer women love to connect. Let me leave it at that. 

    Now, here is another truth by same principle: women in the context of marrriage were supposed to respond to a proposal, not a compliment or a suggestion.

     A compliment or a suggestion Is not a proposal. A proposal is an official and well articulated invitation to the woman with specific intention of marriage. That’s beyond what you make the man feel based on how beautiful you are.

     In the context of dating, which by now you know is more cultural than it is scriptural, the woman is supposed to enter a relationship with man who has communicated his intentions in an emphatic and articulate manner. 

    The man needs to rise to the occasion and state his intentions. otherwise, he is not worthy of any chance or opportunity to pursue a woman. Dear Kingdom woman, do not respond to a compliment or a suggestion, respond to a proposal. 

    The relationship and pain that some women have dealt with is simply they responded to a compliment or a suggestion,the problem with this kind of response is that you are giving your life to someone who has no intentions to pursue you, and therefore has no plans to cleave to you. 

    Respond to a proposal and begin the journey of being pursued, while for the man: Don’t give a proposal if you are not ready to pursue by biblical standards. Unless you understand leave and Cleave, you are not ready to propose. 

    Friends, from all this information shared here we can clearly see and understand that the nature of man in a relationship is to engage with God at a place of purpose and pursue a woman in line with God’s mandate for both their lives.  

    I get that in the world today a lot has been said and done to change this standard, as far as dating is concerned and as result the beauty of relating has been ruined. It’s like an endless disaster.  

    Being excited about a boy you like is not enough to decide that they are the one for you. You’ve got to ask yourself very vital questions like, what’s their purpose, who are they submitted to, is he pursuing you,  why is he pursuing you, what’s his real intention. If you fail to answer these questions then you put yourself at a vulnerable position. 

    Ladies you were created to be pursued and not to pursue. You see when a man chases you, for him that is an investment and so he treasures you the more because it costed him some effort to get you. If you initiate the relationship all that may happen is that a man may feel flattered and even imagine it’s his lucky day but because it was not his idea he will be non committal. I hate to burst your bubble but when a man is not calling you, checking on you, texting you, or even trying to reach out and set up something it’s pretty simple, he is just not interested. 

    The best you can do as a woman is to reciprocate what he does or says. Keep him comfortable and also on edge at the same time. Make him feel good about himself and the choices he has made concerning your friendship. You will be surprised how thoughtful a man can be if you just let him seat on the drivers seat. 

    And my dear brothers, be intentional about where your relationship with a lady stands. Do not lead her on if you do not intend to go all the way. We ladies have a tendency of sometimes reading into the little things you do. Do not engage a woman’s emotions if you know you are not willing to hold them together by her side. I would love for men to be delibarate about pursuing a woman of their choice from a point of understanding and genuine interest and not to test the waters.  

    I leave you with this, As we look to date well and marry well I would love for you to consider hard your individual relationship with God. Is God your ultimate source, do you love Him and are you willing to do His will even if it costs you. This is a golden rule that will set the pace for every good relationship in your life. 

    I would like to appreciate Jael, Moz, Benjamin and Cliff for your immense contribution to this article. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with these lovely men and women who are determined to do life God’s way. I appreciate your input and I sure do hope we can do this again.  

    If you have a question or comment feel free to leave it in the comment box. Also share this with your friends and family. Let them know there is hope and if we do this the God way we are not going to fail. Like the piece and keep communing with God. Be authentic, be yourself and let’s keep God as our standard. I love you and God bless you.

    Is It Time To Let Go?

    Arlene Ayirah. 

    Hello beautiful people. I trust you are well in the Lord and that your days are filled with joy and peace from God. It’s been a while since I published and I sure do hope that what I have to say today will find a place in your heart to stay, impact, change, encourage and transform both you and I.

    I have come to establish that love is a beautiful thing. However people have perverted the real meaning of love and now we tend to think that love is something that comes and takes you over and you have zero control about it. Some people even hold on to their childhood “love” because of some of the soap operas that have painted a different image of what love is. Just so we are on the same page I want us to understand that God is love and He is the ultimate example and illustration of what true love should be like. So the best person to seek advise on love is God because He created it and so He knows how it should be. A friend of mine  likes to say that Man is God’s idea and so only God can sustain man since He knows how He made man to function. And I agree. He created you and me and so He becomes our instructor, our manual. 

    Relationships are a huge part of our lives and we cannot survive being alone. We have to make friends, business partners, colleagues, class mates, wives and husbands. We need to have a social life that is authentic, beneficial, and healthy. 

    We have however,  probably found ourselves in some relationships that have robbed us of our joy, peace of mind, sanity and even our values. I have met a couple of people who have questions on if they should keep dating their current partners or not. Others even in their friendships are feeling dehydrated and worn out and they no longer know what they should do or become. They have lost sense of meaning and are not sure  if they are being used and engaging in an unhealthy friendship. 

    How then do you know that the relationship you are in (whether work related, romantic relationship, or just friendships) needs to come to an end?

    First of all if you are asking yourself this question, then you clearly are in doubt about the position you are in. The Bible says in James 1:5 that If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it. So if you have a question on your current relationship then the first person to seek help from is God – your father.  

    I also would love to remind us to involve God before we make decisions concerning whether or not we should get involved in certain relationships. If a purpose of a relationship is clear from the word go then we have a shot at making it to the very end. Someone I know once told me thatThe fact that there is purpose between two people does not automatically mean that there should be relationship”. So be careful as you pick out your involvement with people around you.  

    Sometimes we get into relationships and as we proceed, issues and truths begin to crop up and start pricking the very foundation of that relationship. You get into a business partnership and realize your partner is unfaithful with how they handle the business finances. What do you do? Leave and start all over?  It is important for you to deal with the real issues affecting the relationship. If nobody wants to stand out and address the issue then it means you will keep going in circles – One person messes up, they apologize and you start all over. So don’t let your relationship face death just because you are afraid of dealing with the real issues.  If nobody is ready to deal with the issues then it’s time to let go.  

    A man of God I love to listen to gives the story of Sarah,  Abraham and Hagar and explains how Ishmael Hagar’s son with Abraham picks on Isaac. Remember Isaac was the promised son but Sarah decided to assist God and gave Hagar to Abraham so they could have a child. When a relationship you are in begins to pick on the promises of God in your life,  then you definitely need to let it go.  If you are dating and the relationship produces lustful desires that pick on your purity, you don’t need a prophesy over your life to leave, just flee. A business relationship with someone with no integrity is not one you should be in as a child of God.  No relationship is worth keeping if it’s at the expense of the promises of God over your life. Because the gifts that come from God are perfect. 

    In case you are wondering…. I have been dating this lady for seven years, if I leave this business I will have no money to sustain myself and many other things that may give you a reason to stay in an unhealthy relationship then here is something to cheer you on.  

    When you leave a relationship that is eating into your purpose you open doors for God to restore and put you back in track with your original purpose and functionality.  And for me a healthy, authentic and tangible relationship with God beats every other thing. 

    Mike Todd says, and even as you work on your exit plan for that relationship that you know you need to leave, do it quickly, end it with a blessing, end it intentionally and end it putting all your trust in God. Be sure not to leave an open door for the relationship to come back.  Don’t tell that lady that you need a break to think when you know for sure that you are walking and never coming back.  Do not be passive in ending things with people, be very intentional.  Being intentional does not mean you act rude. 

    Trust God to take you through the necessary healing you need. Allow God help you pick out what is good for you as you walk in purpose. If a relationship is a liability you let it go, but if it is an asset you keep it.  And just as iron sharpens iron, allow yourself to be sharpened by people of your own kind.

    I hope this has shed some light on some of the issues we battle with in our relationships.  I pray that God shall help us to make sober decisions and act accordingly as we reflect God in our daily lives. Please read, share your thoughts on the comment icon and let’s have this discussion further.  Also like this article and share with your circles. I love you all with the love of God. Remember love and relationship is not a game you play and stop when you like. It involves people’s hearts so take care of someone’s heart because God created that person as much as He created you. 


    My Birthday Wish 

    Arlene Ayirah

    Hey my people. Its been months since I last posted. It doesn’t mean I stopped writing. Am still here to share with you and to learn from you as well. Before I get started I really want to appreciate those of you who went out of their way to enquire about why I haven’t written in a while. I must say I have been encouraged to know that I have people who genuinely look forward to my work. I really appreciate you guys so much. 

    So today is my birthday and I will take this chance to empty my heart and share one of the things I have learnt in my previous year. This is going to take a while so brace yourself. I may not have it all figured out but I would want you to pick what is relevant for you and run with it.

    What would you do if you woke up one morning and find that you lost all or one thing that you have held dearly. It could be your best friend, a parent, your boyfriend or girlfriend, your job, something that means so much to you. What is the first thing you do, think or feel. Am sure most of us have a reaction to this. Mostly negative reactions. We become bitter, we cry, we vent. What changes after we have reacted? Do we get back what we’ve lost. 

    You’ve got to know that we all embrace pain differently. We all have our own ways of dealing with pain and hurts. The most common is withdrawing from people. The aspect of “I need space to clear my head”. Am sure you are familiar with this. This year I experienced quite a big loss. One I didn’t see coming, and the first thing I did was build a wall and totally shut every one else out. 

    I had people around me telling me that I am strong, I will handle it. But I wasn’t able to. I chose to close myself in and refuse to deal with the pain. Now I realize that healing doesn’t happen with time. Healing is a process God Himself walks you through. The only thing time does is that it makes u learn how to live with the pain. It doesn’t heal you. 

    Loss is painful. Loss is hard to deal with. Building walls and refusing to allow yourself the opportunity to heal is however not the answer. The best thing to do is accept that you are hurting and begin to open yourself up for healing. I wish I did some things differently but since I realized this I have began my healing process. Sooner or later I will be a lady with a healthy heart. And so on my birthday I wish myself a spontaneous and exciting time in my healing period. I wish to rediscover me and keep at loving myself even at my flaws.

    I would have loved for my dad to be around and throw me some humongous birthday wish but this won’t stop me from enjoying my day. Dad you are missed. 

    I say to myself today I am strong, I am beautiful, I am loved, I am the best thing that has ever happened to the world. I will keep pressing, I won’t give up and I will prove to the world that God did a perfect job allowing me into the world on a day like this. 

    I want to appreciate all the people who have been with me through this. You guys mean the world to me. I totally appreciate your friendship. Cheers to many more. God bless. 

    Thanks guys for reading. I hope you were encouraged even just a little. Make the right decisions. Do not wait to learn from experience. Be deliberate about choosing what is right for you. Even if it doesn’t make sense to everyone else. Do you. Happy Birthday to me.

    Datetiquette 

    Arlene Ayirah 

    Am surprised at myself that am about to give insight on how a proper date should be like yet I have not actually had something I would classify as a proper date. All the same I will share what I learnt about proper dating manners

    So a few friends gave me their views about what they feel a good date should be like and I will share some of what they gave. Many thanks to them Judith Flora, Shax Pius, Godfrey Everest, Violet Msola and Neema Kihundwa. Thank you guys for your input. 

    When it comes to asking someone on a date, it is advisable for the man to take an initiative and ask the girl out. This is because when the man does, it adds a lot of mystrery to the whole experience. It also makes the chase more interesting.

    First off, there’s an aspect of time keeping. If you are going to meet someone on a date, it is important to keep time. Most especially it is not good to keep a lady waiting. Also ladies, make sure to keep time so that you ensure you have quality time to spend. In case you are going to run late, let your partner know. That’s being thoughtful and courteous.

    Once you arrive at your date location,there are a lot of dynamics involved.  When it comes to food, this is what I learnt should be the case.  Idealy the man is supposed to pay the bill. So with this is mind the lady should make her order first. The reason for this is because…lets say you have 3000 to spend for the meal, you should allow the girl to order first for what she wants to eat so that you as the man can know what to order for, that will fall in the range of what you have in your pocket. Also, in the communication in between the date, ensure that you pass the correct message to one another. Avoid having personal conversations about some personal stuff. Get to know one another, learn each others character, the deeper level of communication should come after you have already decided to take your date to a next level of having a long term relationship. Note that in any form of communication 20% is in what you actually say and the other 80% is in your body language. 

    A habit that should be avoided in a date is using your cell phone. It speaks volumes when you use your phone on a date. It shows that you are rude and you don’t treasure the time you have with your date. It’s better to switch off your phone or put it on airplane mode. In terms of dressing, it’s important to look presentable, descent and classy all together. Do not overdress, avoid too much make up, do not wear something that makes you uncomfortable. If it is at night ensure you are warm enough too. If you overdo your outfit it makes you look desperate,cheap and it appears as if you are trying too hard. 

    Lastly, a tip for the men. When you make a girl laugh on your first date you have a bonus.  It’s so nice when a man has a sense of humour that is not offensive. When a man is funny, it makes the whole date pleasant and many times, it earns you a second date. 

    Also a date doesn’t have to be at an expensive place. As long as it is calm, beautiful, not crowded and with good food  it is good to go. Do not be put under pressure to impress the lady by taking her to an expensive place which she may not even like. Most times simple is the best way to go.  

    Am sure there are many more dynamics about how to conduct yourself on a date.   Why don’t you share some of them on the comment box. Like the piece too and share it with your friends. Thank you for taking time to read my article today.