Monthly Archives: August 2017

Datetiquette 

Arlene Ayirah 

Am surprised at myself that am about to give insight on how a proper date should be like yet I have not actually had something I would classify as a proper date. All the same I will share what I learnt about proper dating manners

So a few friends gave me their views about what they feel a good date should be like and I will share some of what they gave. Many thanks to them Judith Flora, Shax Pius, Godfrey Everest, Violet Msola and Neema Kihundwa. Thank you guys for your input. 

When it comes to asking someone on a date, it is advisable for the man to take an initiative and ask the girl out. This is because when the man does, it adds a lot of mystrery to the whole experience. It also makes the chase more interesting.

First off, there’s an aspect of time keeping. If you are going to meet someone on a date, it is important to keep time. Most especially it is not good to keep a lady waiting. Also ladies, make sure to keep time so that you ensure you have quality time to spend. In case you are going to run late, let your partner know. That’s being thoughtful and courteous.

Once you arrive at your date location,there are a lot of dynamics involved.  When it comes to food, this is what I learnt should be the case.  Idealy the man is supposed to pay the bill. So with this is mind the lady should make her order first. The reason for this is because…lets say you have 3000 to spend for the meal, you should allow the girl to order first for what she wants to eat so that you as the man can know what to order for, that will fall in the range of what you have in your pocket. Also, in the communication in between the date, ensure that you pass the correct message to one another. Avoid having personal conversations about some personal stuff. Get to know one another, learn each others character, the deeper level of communication should come after you have already decided to take your date to a next level of having a long term relationship. Note that in any form of communication 20% is in what you actually say and the other 80% is in your body language. 

A habit that should be avoided in a date is using your cell phone. It speaks volumes when you use your phone on a date. It shows that you are rude and you don’t treasure the time you have with your date. It’s better to switch off your phone or put it on airplane mode. In terms of dressing, it’s important to look presentable, descent and classy all together. Do not overdress, avoid too much make up, do not wear something that makes you uncomfortable. If it is at night ensure you are warm enough too. If you overdo your outfit it makes you look desperate,cheap and it appears as if you are trying too hard. 

Lastly, a tip for the men. When you make a girl laugh on your first date you have a bonus.  It’s so nice when a man has a sense of humour that is not offensive. When a man is funny, it makes the whole date pleasant and many times, it earns you a second date. 

Also a date doesn’t have to be at an expensive place. As long as it is calm, beautiful, not crowded and with good food  it is good to go. Do not be put under pressure to impress the lady by taking her to an expensive place which she may not even like. Most times simple is the best way to go.  

Am sure there are many more dynamics about how to conduct yourself on a date.   Why don’t you share some of them on the comment box. Like the piece too and share it with your friends. Thank you for taking time to read my article today. 

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Abide My Heart, Abide. 

Arlene Ayirah

Todays piece should just challenge you and I to go back to the drawing board and make sure we are on the right track as far as our personal relationship with God is concerned. 

Take this example for instance where it is planting season and a farmer gets working and plants his crops. What is it that causes other plants to yield successfully and others die along the way. The answer is simple…the dead plants failed to abide.  Am sure you are wondering what abiding has to do with growth of plants. Let’s take this journey together. 

Today the word abide for me will mean enduring, lasting, persisting, lifelong, continuing, remaining, surviving. Many times we are all placed in an environment that is conducive for growth and development. But for some reason others do not grow. They stay in the same condition despite the very essential conditions. It is because we have no root system from which we can draw our nourishment from. We refuse to abide by the conditions that we are exposed to and choose to wait for growth to happen just like that. 

The health of anything-in this case our relationship with God is a reflection of what is going on or not going on underground. The only way to successfully have God as our Ultimate Priority is to ensure we develop a root system that is anchored in Him. This should happen away from the public domain when it’s just you and the Lord. This way we draw from Him all that we require for the abundant life He promised us in John 10:10.

Let’s delv deeper into the Roots and it’s functionality in our walk with the Lord.  

1. Roots are unseen.                                     Our spiritual life is a manifestation of what we do in the secret place.  When nobody is watching,when it’s just you and the Lord. It is important that we ensure that what others see on the outside is a reflection of what goes on in private between us and God. The greater time you spend in the secret place with God,the greater impact, effectiveness and relevance your outside is. The impact of our ministry is directly proportional to the time we spend with God.  For our roots to grow deep in Him, God calls us away from the world. So we can be real with Him. 

2. Roots are for taking in.                        Every second we choose to spend time with God, we expose ourselves to a learning environment. He supplies us so that our hearts are constantly in pursuit of His ways.  A great writer, Elizabeth George calls this process The Great Exchange. This is where you give God your baggage and He replaces it with strength, weakness for power,  sadness for joy, problems for solutions, burdens for freedom,questions for answers.  You can name everything else. But this is where you give up you and let God be Him for you. It’s very important even after we have made plans for our lives to set time apart for God to put into perspective and empower His word in our plans. This way we have exchanged our needs for God’s supply. 

3. Roots are for storage.                              The moment we have tapped from God we receive enough to carry us through out times of turmoil. We will faithfully deliver despite our times of drought. We will be able to produce fruit in and out of season. Constantly drawing from God creates in us a reservoir from which we can always depend on.  When our roots are deep in God, all we have to do is reach out and pick what He has already put in us and exercise it for that season.  

4. Roots are for support.                          Without a well developed root system it is easy for us to be swept away or blown away by every wind that comes.  But as long as we have a strong root connection we can stand out everytime a wind blows. When others are bowing to the world, you are able to stand tall and proclaim God in every situation.  

Maybe you are thinking within yourself how to be able to accomplish all this. It’s simple… Decide. Do you want God or not. If you do then realize that all relationships require work and communication. With this understanding then you shouldn’t struggle to do what is required of you as a child of God. A few steps maybe to give you an idea of how to abide and have a deep root connection with the Lord.

First of all you must develop the habit of drawing near to God. The same way you wake up and freshen up everyday before school or work is the same way you must set time aside to switch to heavenly frequency. Despite all our busy lives somehow we always find time to chat our friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives, parents and all other important people to us.  How much more should we strive to spend time with God. It may not be easy but thats the measure of love you must have to always be in contact with God. It is a deliberate choice that has to come from your heart. 

Second you could design a personal time for communing with God. The same way you always have time to go to the gym everyday or go for your morning run is the same way you must intentionally plan to come to God. It doesn’t have to be in the synagogue or church. Select a time that matches your lifestyle, let’s say that lunch break at work, that hour when the baby finally goes to bed or that time you are stuck on traffic. It could be any time of the day really. Then decide where you meet the Lord. Is it in your prayer closet, is it at the study table, is in your living room.  Wherever you choose as long as it is a place you move to, that has no distractions. It doesn’t matter really,just make a specific spot your place to meet with the Lord. Take with you all material you need for your time with God. Your journal, your Bible, maybe a box of tissue, your music playlist,your CD with a sermon. Whatever learning aids you need, carry them all.  

Another important thing to propel you to have a better walk with God is to dream it. Hold that thought. Don’t try disqualify dreaming because you feel it’s not enough to dream.  This is what I mean.  When you have a motivation to pursue God it puts you in a position to keep going so you can achieve what you want. Have a picture in mind of what you want to see in your salvation life at the end of the year and work towards making sure your relationship with God is exactly where you want by that specific time frame. This will motivate you to work towards your dream.  

I leave you with this challenge. God will only take you as far as you want to go and as fast as you are willing to move. When God calls us to go and reason together with Him this is probably one of those things we should be reasoning out. Set your pace and God shall flow along with you and moderate you when you move to fast or too slow. He will act as your thermostat or regulator.

Guys I sincerely  hope today’s piece challenges you as much as it challenged me.  Let’s make our lives stable in the Lord. Thank you for taking time to read. Please like the article, leave a comment and tell me more about how we can have a fruitful and successful walk with God.  Then you can also share with others. Let’s get as much information out there. They say information is power so let’s get ourselves the power and pass it on to others.