Equipping Ourselves For Dating. 

Arlene Ayirah.

Being equipped is very necessary for a relationship to be  successful. I hope we all are looking at the larger picture here which is marriage. As long as you are in a relationship you have to think of marriage. It’s a requirement that you look at the long term. This makes more sense to people who are born again.

Therefore if we are equipping ourselves, we must be looking at making ourselves husband and wife material. I hope this is not confusing but in case it is, let’s go slow. When you get into a football pitch to play, you must have spent some time behind the scenes practicing, so that when you go to play you are very well able to perform. It’s the same being in a relationship.  

Before you take a partner to keep and move through life together with, you have to prepare yourself.  It starts first of all with you making yourself a better human being. Becoming confident and comfortable with yourself. Being in a position to fall in love with yourself, flaws and all.  This way you are at a better position to accommodate the other person. 

Reading books about relationships is another good way of preparing yourself.  Books are a source of knowledge and finding competent people with practical examples who have written books is a good way of gaining knowledge. 

I specifically want to urge us to read the Bible. Why the Bible you might ask? Because in the Bible we find perfect definitions and examples of love.  Pure love is expressed in different books by different people who loved God and we’re loved by God. Take David the King for instance. God describes him as a man after His heart. The book of Mathew 15:18 Says …. out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. If we therefore fill our hearts and minds with the word of God we subsequently begin to speak the word of God. In every situation our solutions will always come from the word of God which we continuously feed on. This tells me we must feed on what builds us and not what breaks us. Mathew 6:21 also says…for where your treasure is there will your heart also be. What you treasure is what takes the larger place in your heart. Treasure truth which is the word of God, and your heart shall always be found with Him. This way, you only connect with another person whose heart is connected to God. 

Don’t get me wrong but I wish we would stop deceiving ourselves with telenovelas,soap operas and other romantic movies. These things displayed are not always true.  That’s why they are acted to paint out a certain picture. Love is not a movie. Relationship is not about having a wicked sister or cousin who is in love with your “Alejandro ”  Let’s just stick to seeking God. Let’s be all over God’s business and I assure you this area of your life will blossom. 

I have a friend, Caren Blessing who says “God is not a careless Father .” And I agree with her. If you stick close to Him, pursue Him, study His word and serve Him diligently, He shall make available all the resources you need for dating and eventually marriage. 


The Dreaded No

Arlene Ayirah 

Think about that one person you really totally like and would want to keep them really close for the longest time possible.  Regardless of if it’s the male or female gender,NO is usually an unpleasant answer. When a guy likes a lady you find them asking themselves… “what if she says no.”

So let’s figure out how we can deal with this. First off I like telling people…its never that serious. Sometimes it is but really we can always survive in the toughest of situations.  If you ever get a NO from a lady, I would advice 2 things. First find out if the lady is playing hard to get,and if she is,pursue her because you will eventually conquer. Ladies love to be chased and men were created to chase.  It’s in their nature.  Two if she really is not interested it’s simple, accept and move on. Never force a lady to date you.  It’s just not right and it makes you look desperate and intolerable.

Sometimes, ladies make guys do the craziest of things. But guys, you don’t always have to say yes because you love her. It’s okay to say NO.  It shows that you are responsible and you are in control first of your life and of that relationship.  

Women like to be led. They like being showed the way.  This is a topic for another day.

So let’s learn to say no to what we really are not ready for and also learn to accept the answer no.  

Defining Relationships. 

Arlene Ayirah 

I have had friends who told me that they think they are dating but it’s not official.  This statement that people use “We are just friends” I find it unfair. How do you treat a lady or a gent as if he or she is your partner but then you are not committing to the idea of being in a relationship. 

Here is what I think we should do.  Well for me it’s important that as a guy you take charge and have that talk.  I know there’s a tendency of people sticking to friendship so that they can be certain the other party likes them too. It’s not right because many times people end up getting hurt.  You make someone imagine that there’s something between you when there’s nothing. 

Men if u like a lady let them know, initiate the talk and get to know if you two have a chance. Other than acting sweet and making them have imaginations. 

It’s very important to define what it is you are doing. Are you sticking to friendship or are you building a friendship that will lead to a relationship. This talk is important.  Ladies always wait for the man to lead the talk don’t start it.  It’s their role thats why they are heads. 


The Dating Art

Arlene Ayirah

I call dating an art because it is the practicality of what we want in future and what Christ has taught us.  For me dating is a gate to marriage.  So this means that if you are not dating for marriage you are in the wrong place. 

Previously we said that purpose is a motivation for getting into a relationship.  So if my purpose complements the other person’s purpose then we are good to go. If not well, we got something to work on. 

So here we are dating, and everything checks out and one morning one person wakes up and they just feel no longer in love. What happens then?Do you break up? With your purposes as the driving force you will have something to hold on to. With an investment of friendship between you two, you will find a reason to stay. 

So then what does this mean?  Feelings flactuate. They come and go and if the feelings are the only reason you are in a relationship am sorry to say but it is likely to fail.  

I want to leave you thinking about something.  How many people have you ever liked or had a crash on? Given the chance would you really be okay spending the rest of your life with them based on the crash alone?

Let’s talk about how we can handle crashes in the next piece. 

See you then and share this with as many people as you can think about. 



Introducing Dating

Arlene Ayirah 

Dating is one aspect of our lives where we get to find that one person who makes us look forward to seeing the God nature in them.What do I mean? If you gonna start dating you need to make sure your own life has no baggage from your past. So that when you begin to accommodate another person in your heart it’s not a struggle loving them even at their worst.  Many people tend to wrongly believe that dating and relationships complete them as a person but it’s not true. Dating should be a place where you come together to steer a common goal,a common purpose. My spiritual father @Mozmi Musicol says dating is the coming together of two purposes. Therefore before we can talk about the details of dating you need to first of all be sure that with you is a purpose and a zeal to make you a better version of what you already are

In the same way these different fruits have been blended to form a great combination of taste and colour, so should our relationships be.  Us coming together to bring more joy and happiness in each others lives and not to bring or become aspects of confusion. 



Introducing Me

Arlene Ayirah

My life hasn’t been a walk in the park…. But the things I have experienced since I deliberately chose to live for God have been transforming. 

I just created this blog to be able to share with the world the love of God. He loved me when I didn’t deserve it and now I can’t help it but learn how to love Him more  

Am hoping that through my posts you will be able to learn a thing oh no or two about how you can handle life and the challenges that come along.

Am a young woman early 20s and vibrant for Jesus.  I want to share with a generation, a remnant that will walk a life of purity, holiness and obedience to God.  

I already love you before I meet you… Because the Love of God lives inside of me.  

Looking forward to interact with you.