Understanding Your Relationship.

Arlene Ayirah.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Hello my people. Its been a month since I last posted.I have missed you all and I hope you have been doing great.Am here today with this topic of how we can understand and manage our relationships.I hope it will be a great help to you and me as well.
I first of all want you to have this basic information even before we delve deeper into this topic.My relationship can never be the same as yours or someone elses. Even if you have similar characteristics with your sister or brother your relationships can never have the same flow or progression. I say this so that you can stop comparing your relationship to that of someone else. Each relationship is unique and has been modeled in its own special way. So the way to handle relationships and its issues can vary depending on what you have with your special someone.
Let me use a few examples that are common and can be major setbacks in our relationships if not properly handled.Having the access or passwords to your partners phone,social media platforms and maybe computer.People normally want to do this so they can keep tabs on their boyfriend or girlfriend.So they can know who they talk to or if they are cheating on them.I know people who totally have no problem giving their partners access to their phones.Many say it is because they have nothing to hide.Truth is having your partners password will not stop them from cheating on you.If anything is may cause a lot of drama for your relationship.I stand to be corrected but i think this issue mostly affects the ladies.Just because your bff has the password to her mans phone should not push you to start frustrating your man for his password.
I even noticed that at times when you have the password it causes more trouble than good.Men,there is this phrase you use”am trying to protect you”.Sometimes the ladies do not need this protection you are talking about,they just want an assurance that you will hang on and fight for your relationship despite other women who may come in your life.So if you really cant give your password give them no reason to doubt your love and affection.
Another common issue is about the dating dynamics.”My friend went to Villa Rosa Kempinski for dinner so you should take me there as well”.It doesn’t work like that my friend.Every couple has a thing they do.If Kempinski is not yours please do not push it.Men have a way of making KFC feel like Villa Rosa.You may be shocked that even Villa Rosa may not put a smile on your face and make you feel like a princess.Get me right please.Am not saying Villa Rosa is a bad idea am simply asking us to stick to our lane and do the adventures we can very well take,enjoy and afford.Do not try to do things other people do thinking that your relationship will be better.
It goes all the way to how we solve problems or conflict in our relationships.Some men will buy their ladies a rose as a way of apologizing, others will prefer to sit and talk the problem over without any material gift involved.It doesn’t mean he loves you less because he did not bring flowers or a bar of chocolates.It just reminds you of how unique or special your relationship is from others.
When you have a working relationship with God,it helps you to see your partner as God sees him or her.It all narrows down to how you and your Father relate.We have to work so hard to have a relationship with God that not only exists but one that functions.When we pray,we speak to God. He wants to here from us He wants us to have communication.Meditation on His word keeps in our hearts the desires of the Lord for our lives. We stick to what He wants from us because we are constantly thinking about what He says about us.When we want to hear from God, then we ought to study His word and have information about Him,ourselves and what He says about us.With these,we can channel the same principles to our love lives and have great relationships and progressively good working marriages.
Therefore,it is very vital for everyone in a working relationship to learn what their partners are and do everything they can to nurture who they are not try to change them into a man or woman they have created in their minds or fantasies.You need to see your man or woman for who he or she is.This will go a long way in protecting,keeping and growing your relationship.I notice men love women who love them for who they are not try to change how them.They feel like Kings.So ladies if you want to feel like a queen make sure you are treating him like a King.
Thank you for reading today’s piece i hope you enjoyed and learnt a thing or two.I still have plans to host our power couple Diana Haddasah and Felix Mureithi in other words, Mr and Mrs Mureithi, so be expectant i assure you it will be worth the wait.Please share your comments about today’s topic.Any information that will be helpful to this topic is very welcome.Take care of yourselves and your phones because without you,there is no Yadahlife. Thank you for reading my blog I truly from the bottom of my heart appreciate you.

Dealing With Misunderstanding 

Arlene Ayirah 

Take a situation where you and your partner had a conflict.  Whether big or small. It could be he lied about something or he forgot your birthday. You know, any random thing. How do you deal with it?  Do you go on to speak your mind and explode with anger? This is what I think should be the case.  

I once again will talk about friendship. You see, when the relationship is based on genuine friendship the way of dealing with conflict becomes different from others. When your really good friend goes wrong, you don’t end the friendship and speak badly to them, do we? The same applies here. When a conflict arises in a relationship first of all it is wise to take time and pray about the issue at hand. Surrender that issue to God for Him to give you wisdom to handle it. Trust Him to provide every solution you need. Also from prayer you receive peace of mind and joy that is unexplainable from God. 

With this, it guarantees that whatever the issue, you will have the sober mind to handle it. This means that whatever decision you will be compelled to make will not be irrational and unacceptable. You therefore do not end up making hast decisions that you may regret. 

I know someone may think,…but she did this, he said that…he or she deserves whatever comes. This is not true,because come to think of it. Jesus died at the cross of Calvary without the complete assuarance that millions of people would receive Him. But He chose to die anyway. Even if one person was to get saved,Jesus would still have died.  We may not even deserve what He offered us but we have it anyway.  In the Lords prayer, we are told to forgive others so that God can forgive us. This tells us that regardless of what someone does we must be ready to forgive them. Don’t get me wrong,forgiving them is one thing and choosing to stay with that person is another. Am not advocating for break ups but some scenarios may need you to end things with the person you are dating. Bottom line is whatever decision you make, be sure in your heart that you have forgiven. 

When you are angry at your partner and you are arguing about something, and perhaps one of you says something to hurt the other, it’s not healthy for you to say something worse so as to hurt the other person.  Be the bigger one and stay calm. Take control of your feelings and make whatever action you take be counted as a mature move. Arguing and throwing words around never works. Maturity is not in age but it’s in the choices we make and the personality we wear as we deal with issues of life.

Learn to listen to your partner. Sometimes the issue is not usually what we think it is. There could be underlying matters that have built up frustration on one person. Always try to find the root of a problem and solve it. This way, the problem is solved for good and is not prone to come up in the future. Also let’s at all times admit when we are wrong and correct areas that needs to be corrected. This is wisdom. In proverbs we are taught  that only a fool refuses to be corrected. 

We can not always avoid conflict. It is therefore important to understand each other and find ways of not upsetting each other but rather correct one another with love.  True love and friendship is when you know your partners weaknesses but not use them against them no matter how much they have hurt or wronged you.